Daily thoughts by a guy that doesn't like to think deeply too often!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Pond Population- up by 3

I added 3 baby ducks to the pond yesterday! They are so cute, and the fish seem to enjoy having them there, too! Before anyone gets too excited about the ducks, I'll let you know that they are fake-- made out of plastic! At first glance, they do seem to be the real McCoy-- they float around in the pond , so they're always in a different spot when I look out my window, just like real ducks! They were life-like enough to even fool the Jehovah's Witnesses that came to my door this morning!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Reflections of an Olde Queen

Yes, I spelled "Olde" with an "e".... that's how old I feel sometimes!

There have been comments here on my Blog lately (I've heard it elsewhere as well), questioning how partying at a parade shows your Pride. The media always shows the drag queens, the leather guys with the assless chaps, the "bull dyke on a motorbike", etc. The pride parade has turned into a big ole Mardis Gras- people flashing their breasts for beads, people drinking a little too much, people showing a little more skin than usual, and enough people wearing costumes to give the appearance that it's a Halloween parade!

If I wear a dress and carry a whip while riding my motorcycle drunk down Peachtree Street, am I really telling the world that I am Proud?

I've been reflecting on this ever since the Parade on Sunday. Here's what I came up with......

Things have changed a lot... I remember the first Pride Parade that I attended. It was in the early 80's. I was a kid and scared to death to go, but I went. In those days, you could lose your job for being gay. Everyone that attended the parade risked their job. TV crews were everywhere filming-- if that camera focused on you, you might as well move to another city because you would definately be ostracised. Back then the parade wasn't nearly as big... maybe a couple of hundred participants. I remember watching the marchers pass by while some people on the sidelines threw rocks and beer bottles at them. It was dangerous to attend the parade, and even more dangerous to march in it.

Fast forward a couple of decades and it's a world of difference. The media isn't nearly as present as in the past. Most people don't fear repurcussions for attending the parade, aside from maybe a hangover the following morning. There is no danger now. In fact, I'd bet that half of the people marching in the parade are straight. This year in my parade entry we had two cars and 15 people. Four of us were gay. The "float" ahead of me was the SWISH float (Straight Women in Support of Homosexuals). The float behind me was PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays). It's not a Gay Pride thing anymore, it's a Human Pride thing now. That's why they changed the name from the Gay Pride Parade to just the Pride Festival.

The fact that I can walk down Peachtree St holding hands with a man and not fear losing my job or my life makes me proud. The fact that I have a friend that can pull off wearing a dress and a pair of rollerskates to the parade and not fear ridicule, but instead receives applause, makes me proud. The fact that there is such a thing as a gay swim team, rugby team, bowling league, rodeo and softball team (and that they all showed up in uniform) makes me proud. The fact that not only my job is secure, but that I was marching with my boss and coworkers makes me proud. The fact that I can walk down Peachtree St. once a year and wear or do anything I want to and be greeted by applause from over 300,000 people makes me proud.

Times have changed, and for the better. Twenty something years ago I came home from the parade and waited to see if anyone would find out that I had attended. Would my parents disown me? Would I lose my job? This year, I came away from the Parade feeling proud to be an American... proud to be Gay... and proud to live in this great city.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Backstage Keisha Pic

I thought this one was pretty good-- still waiting on the pictures from the professional photographer, though. I can't wait to see them. I had a sneak preview the night of the show and all I can say is that what I saw was incredible! Of course I'll post the professional pictures as soon as I get the disc, but til then I'm happy with this shot (and several others) that I've received.

The First Harvest

My crops are finally coming in! Yesterday I picked okra, squash, tomatoes and peppers (jalapeno and banana) from my garden. I made salsa from the tomatoes and peppers last night. Tonight, I'm frying up some okra and squash.

Random Pics from Pride 2007

East Point Pride 2007

Biscuit Pride 2007

Friday, June 22, 2007

Live Like You Were Dying

Thursday, June 21, 2007


It's Pride weekend again. Have fun, be safe, and take lots of pictures!

Keep an eye out for me in the parade-- I'll be driving the Flying Biscuit Mobile! We'll be handing out FB T-shirts (really cute ones: "Biscuits are a Girl's Best Friend"!) along the route. It should be fun- alot more fun than my usual position in the beer booth!

See ya there- and Happy Pride!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Please Vote

Please vote for the Flying Biscuit in the AJC's "Best of the Big A" competition. We are listed under the "Breakfast" and "Sunday Brunch" categories. If you aren't registered with AJC, you will have to sign up in order to vote. It's free and easy to sign up, so don't let that stop you. Voting ends on Thursday, June 21st. Thanks!

Fun w/ Morphed Photos...

My Assistant: Take 2

I finally have an assistant! His name is Alex and he's worked at the Biscuit for about a year as a host. He's a young, go-getter--- lot's of energy, lots of personality. Alex is someone that I've really admired for a while now. He has a magnetic personality. I don't think he has ever met a stranger. He moved here from South Africa a couple of years ago, and in that small span of time he has become a local celebrity in Candler Park. I offered him the job and he accepted. As a trial, he came to work with me last Saturday to help me with a catering job. He arrived on time (5:30am), and did an incredible job. The only thing holding me back is that we have to find a replacement for his host position before he can start working with me. That shouldn't be too hard. I'm hoping that by the beginning of next week, he'll be mine. He's aware of how hard I work, and promises to work just as hard. I've got about 1 month until my vacation to Hilton Head-- if all goes well, Alex will be up and running and able to handle a weeks worth of catering without me. I can't imagine it-- a week away from work without the catering hotline ringing in my ear the entire time. I had the catering phone with me on my vacation last year and it sucked... I remember taking a catering order while walking through Dollywood, arranging deliveries from the Space Museum in Huntsville, etc. This year, if all goes as planned, I can leave the phone behind and not give the Biscuit a thought for the entire week. I'll keep you posted!

Bert's Experiment

This is pretty incredible! I never would've believed it if I hadn't seen it! (Brought to you from Q100's, "The Bert Show").

Monday, June 18, 2007

Dressing Room Blues (PALS 2007)

The bad part about being in the show is that you end up spending all of your time in the dressing room, and missing all of the other acts. I'm hoping that there is a video out there and some day I'll actually get to see what I missed-- including my own act!

The dressing room was actually fun this year, though. We had a professional photographer there and he took lots of pictures of the performers- lots of before and after pictures of me, since I was about the only one that showed up in street clothes. I saw some of the pictures and they were incredible! He said that he'd put them on a disc and mail me a copy-- I can't wait! I'm sure he took about 5000 pictures that night, so it'll take hima little while to weed through them.
In the meantime, here are the before, during and after pictures that were taken on my camera. Enjoy!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

PALS Benefit Results:

The PALS Benefit was a huge success. I worried over nothing! I pulled off the act and the costume better than I could've imagined a few days ago. It was a fun show-- probably the most fun in the history of the East Point PALS Benefits. Plus, we raised a record breaking $7000 to go towards PALS. Not too shabby for a couple of hours of work, huh?
Thanks to the people of East Point for turning out in droves... I'm so impressed by how many people came to support a worthy cause. It makes me proud to be a member of this community.
I'll post more info and pics from the show soon.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Follow-up to the Late Night Post

Maybe my cries for help are finally being heard. Two Managers came in on their day off and volunteered to do some of my deliveries for me. The prep team came in early and did the fruit platter and all of the boxed breakfasts for me. I only had one delivery to do, and everyone rushed to my car afterwards to help me unload. Delia took me to the Sprint store and bought me a new cell phone. I received an email requesting a meeting with me on Monday for my annual review and the results of the contract that I've been negotiating. The email was signed with a P.S. "It's good news for you!".

Now I've got a new fear-- I must be dying! Why else would everyone suddenly start treating me so nicely over night? I found out the answer to this question later in the day. It turns out that Delia berated everyone at the Manager's meeting yesterday. I wasn't able to attend, and in my absence all of the Manager's were told off for not helping me more. Thank God for Delia! She's always looked out for me, and I really can't put into words how much I appreciate it.

City Life

If you have Thursday's edition of the Atlanta Journal Constitution, be sure to check out the front page of the City Life section. They did an article on local neighborhoods and what defines them. Candler Park was selected and they said that the Flying Biscuit defines the neighborhood. It's a short article (see below), but pretty cool. The strange thing about it is the picture: It's an outside shot of the Biscuit- a close-up of the catering banner hanging outside- with my cell phone number (the catering hotline) blatantly printed on the front page. It's great advertising-- I should get some phone calls and orders from this article/picture alone. I'll post the picture as soon as I can find it online.


What does the store sign on an intown cozy street read? The Flying Biscuit Cafe? You must be in Candler Park.
Once you get to Little Five Points, follow your nose. Walk east toward Decatur.
Your nasal glands soon will pick up the sizzling scent of frying eggs, chicken sausages and, of course, fresh biscuits.
At the corner of McLendon Avenue and Clifton Road is a tiny merchant district that defines the heart of Candler Park. That's where you'll find the appetite temptress —- Flying Biscuit Cafe.
Can an eatery define an area? In Candler Park, it already has.

Time Check

It's almost 1:00am. I'm awake for no apparent reason. My alarm is set to go off at 3:00am. There's really no reason to even try to go to bed at this point.

I'm working long, hard days. I should be tired. Why the insomnia, then? Maybe it's because I have too much stress-- there are 3 big catering jobs going out in the morning. Each of them is more complicated than normal. One of them is "Breakfast in a Box" for 40 people. I hate when people order this-- I've been working on removing it from our catering menu because it's a hard one to pull off. When the new menu is printed, it will be history, but for now it's on the menu so I have to offer it, although I always try to persuade people to make a different selection. The problem with the box meal is that there is a lot that goes into it: a piece of strata (quiche), a fruit cup, a biscuit, a bowl of grits, apple butter and butter. The strata takes about 1.5 hours to cook, so I've got to have it in the oven by 4am in order to have it cooked, cut, wrapped and boxed for a 6:00am departure time. What usually happens is that the strata is placed in the box with the fruit cup and butters. The fruit gets warm, the strata gets cold. I hate this option, and the thoughto of cutting up enough fruit for 40 cups in the middle of the night is not appealing either. I tried to get it done today, but everyone said that they'd be there to help me in the morning and not to worry about it. Well, it's not in my nature to NOT worry. So many times people have said that they'd be there to help me and they oversleep, or show up late, or get busy doing something else. I've learned that I can't depend on anyone to help me, so I take on more than I can do and I end up sitting here at 1am with insomnia.

Another reason I can't sleep... the show is about 36 hours away. That adds a whole other reason of stress for me. I know that everything will go ok once I get on stage-- it's the couple of hours leading up to the show that I'm worried about. Some of my coworkers are in the show and they don't know the area. They will get lost, mark my words. My boss and her family are coming to the show-- even though she has a GPS Navigator, she will get lost. I will spend the preshow hours giving directions via cell phone. Through in the fact that my make up lady might possibly get lost too and I'm imaging my fate of what will happen when I have to beg someone else to do my makeup and they do the total opposite of what I want. it happend in the show a couple of years ago-- luckily there are no pictures to remind me of the night I went on stage looking like a clown and trying to pull off a dramatic Kelly Clarkston number. Hopefully everything will turn out ok and I'll have worried for nothing-- but like I said, I'm a natural born worrier and if I don't have anything to worry about, I'll invent something!

I had a smart idea earlier this week-- I decided that Keisha would look better with a tan. So, I went over to Performing Arts in Hapeville and did a 15 minute sizzle in bed #3. I got a little bit burned, but ended up with white stripes going down my sides. So, like a fool, I trotted on back to Hapeville the following day for another dose of artificial sun- just to even up the redness. What I ended up with has got to be a case of 3rd degree burn over 90% of my body. I'm not exagerating-- it's awful and I'm sure I'll be either peeling or blistering by showtime. It should be lovely. The thought of putting on that tight bra over the sunburn is the equivelant to nails on a chalkboard. It hurts to wear normal clothes. Much less anything tight. What the hell was I thinking? Maybe another reason I can't sleep-- the sheets hurt my skin.

I just thought of another reason, and probably the most plausable one. I started taking a new supplement last week. You start off by taking 1 pill twice a day for 3 days. Then you take 2 pills twice a day for 3 days. Then you take 3 twice a day for 2 months. Then you stop for a month and then start over. Well, I started on the 6 per day dose yesterday. I'm thinking there may be caffeine or speed or soemthing in these pills. The more I take, the more frenzied I become. I've got to admit that they are working-- my abs are really beginning to show for the first time in my life. I guess I just need to remember to take them earlier in the day, not at bedtime like I did tonight.

So, it's almost 1:30am now. I'm going to get ahead and hit the shower, get dressed and go on into work and start chopping fruit and cooking stratas. With any luck I'll be out of work by 9am and can spend the rest of the day resting, recovering and prepping for the show on Saturday. Wish me luck-- the "after-party" can't come soon enough!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

On the Verge of a Breakdown...

I always hate it when I hear women say that they "can't find a thing to wear", or when they fuss over buying a new dress for the prom, or any other special occasion. What's the big deal? Just go shopping and buy something nice! Well, as of this week, I know exactly how they feel. I've been in panic attack mode all week because the PALS Benefit is this Saturday and as of yesterday I still didn't have an outfit. One of my problems is that I don't know my size. I've gotten lucky in the past with people lending me clothes-- a couple of times I bought dresses on EBay, and luckily they fit (with a little alteration and dieting!). But.. yesterday morning I was sitting at my desk thinking that I've got to find an outfit. I need to know what my size is at least! it's hard enough for a man to go shopping in the women's deptartment-- I can always pretend I'm buying a dress for my sister, but even in that scenario I should have some idea of her size, right? So, sitting at my desk yesterday I had a brilliant idea-- go to Old navy and pick out some men's and women's clothes-- go to the dressing room and try on the girl's clothes and then I'll know my size without making too much of a fool of myself. So, I left work early- I was in Old Navy by 10am with an armload of stylish jeans and tops in all different sizes. I tried on everything, and nothing fit. I didn't have it in me to go back for another round of women's clothes to change into so I went home and dug out my drag outfits from previous years. I got out the needle and thread and a pair of scissors and went to work on altering these clothes so that no one would recognize the fact that I'd worn them on stage before. It didn't work. I got frustrated and gave up the idea of making my own clothes. I watched an episode of Jerry Springer instead. It was very interesting-- a man was breaking up with his transexual girlfriend because he was having an affair with her stepson! Only on Springer!!!!

Anyway-- I started panicing again today-- the show is now 3 days away and I have nothing to wear but a wig, a bra and some ladie's boots. I thought about changing my song, so that it'd match my striptease outfit, but then decided to go on another shopping spree. This time I went to the Ross store at Edgewood. I browsed the aisles, still prepared to answer that I was shoping for my sister (in case anyone asked!). I didn't see anything I liked until I got to the clearance rack. All of a sudden a bright light shown down; I heard angels strumming their harps and the sound of heaven's gates opening up. There was the exact top that I'd been looking for-- and it was only $8.99! I did a mental inventory of the clothes I had at home and figured that with this purchase I would be set. After purchasing the heaven-sent, clearance rack blouse from Ross, I headed home and put the whole outfit together and I think it's perfect, or as close to perfect as I can get with less than 3 days to spare.

So the next time I hear someone complain that they "don't have a thing to wear", I'll be a little more sympathetic. It ain't easy being pretty-- or as Steve Martin once said, "It Ain't Pretty Being Easy".

Sunday, June 10, 2007


The Goldfish Hunters!

Steve and I were able to capture most of the goldfish from the pond at the EPHS yesterday. There was 1 that eluded us, so he is now living in the big pond by himself for a while, at least until he can be caught. Steve plans to keep this last one in a goldfish bowl at the EPHS. I lost track of how many fish we caught, but I'd estimate about 20-25. They all survived the trauma of the move and are doing fine this morning in their new home. My pond is much smaller than the one at the EPHS, but I think they'll learn to like the new environment. They have plants and rocks and interesting things to see and do! Thanks, Steve, for making the donation to my pond, and for devoting so much of your day to helping me catch the fish. Also, thanks go to Beverly too for bringing us some icecream bars to eat on while on the hunt!

I found out yesterday that my dog, Clara, has been getting out of the fence. She doesn't go far, just into my next door neighbor's fenced-in backyard. After a little searching, I found a section of the fence that was rusted and broken. Luckily Janice had an extra roll of fencing in her basement, so I was able to replace a 10' section and the backyard is now secure.

Friday, June 08, 2007

PALS Benefit

It's hard to believe, but the PALS Benefit is only a week away-- I've got so much to do to prepare, but I'm sure everything will turn out ok. This is the 10th anniversary of the PALS Benefit, and probably my farewell performance. Although I love performing, I'm getting too damn old for this!!

Normally, I do two numbers in the show, but this year no one is allowed to do more than one. That's kind of a relief for me because I'm looking forward to performing near the beginning of the show and changing back into myself immediately afterwards so that I can enjoy the rest of the show for a change. My heart's just not in it this year. I know that I'll feel differently the night of the show-- I may even end up wearing the costume and makeup to the after party as usual. I can't imagine walking into the Tavern after the show dressed as myself-- I'd never get the thunderous applause that I get when I walk in as Keisha Lorraine. God know that that applause and recognition is what I live for. Hmmm... I don't know what I'll do.. I guess I'll decide the night of the show.

Returning to the stage this year will be my friend, and co-worker, Mimi. She wowed the crowd last year, and she's done several shows in the meantime, so I'm sure she'll be just as big of a hit this year!

Rounding out the Flying Biscuit Trinity will be Mimi's partner (and former Biscuit employee) Coochie Gabana. I don't know what to expect out of Coochie, but I know that she's requested 2 people to help her with her props during her performance, and she's bringing an extension cord so that she'll have real electricity on the stage.

Pond Update

Getting tired of hearing about my pond yet? Too bad! It's about the only thing that brings me a little relaxation these days, so I'm a little obssessed! I'll move onto something new soon, though! :)

The water lillie bloomed yesterday and it's a pretty pink flower! I learned something new about water lillies today-- they close up at night! You can imagine the look on my face when I got up this morning at 3am to water my flowers. I glanced over at the pond and the beautiful fower that I saw yesterday was gone! Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was still there, just closed up! When I got home from work, I tried to take pictures of it, but as the sky began to darken, the flower began to close. I got a few pictures, but none of them show the lillie in it's fully open state. I'll try again tomorrow. I did notice that the same plant has another bud on it, too!

I learned something else this week, too-- goldfish like oranges! I was feeding the fish in the mornings before work and they weren't eating because they couldn't see the flakes (it's dark outside when I leave for work). The lady at Petsmart said I should give them orange slices to nibble on while they wait for their evening feeding. So, every morning I toss an orange slice in the pond, and when I get home there is nothing left but the rind.
I finally got the "spitting frog" fountain installed today. It took a couple of weeks to get this thing up and running because the tube connection on the frog was a 3/8" and the tube connection on the pump is a 1/2". I've been to Lowe's and Home Depot looking for an adaptor, but no luck. Today I stopped by East Point Hardware and told them what I was looking for. In less than a minute I was out the door with the adaptor in hand! I love little hardware stores where everyone knows their stock inside out.

Steve notified me that I can have all of the fish from the East Point Historical Society's pond. I went by today and spent about an hour trying to catch them with no luck. Those fish are crafty little suckers! I'll return tomorrow with better amunition-- possible a cane fishing pole and a few worms!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Mission Accomplished!

The interview went really well today and I'm happy to announce that I have an Assistant! His name is Alex! He will officially start Saturday morning, assisting me with the GA State job. Thank God! My world just opened up again! Once Alex is trained and self-sufficient, I'll be able to take my days off again-- I can actually use my vacation time and not just "officially" use it but still come into work each day as I've done in the past. Besides helping me with the catering jobs, Alex will be doing my filing and eventually some of my data entry. During slow times, he will be my marketing tool-- passing out catering menus at the nearby offices. I won't be completely out of the delivery business, but I'm hoping that a lot of my daily deliveries will come to an end. Alex is the answer to my prayers-- at least I have a glimmer of hope that my marathon work sessions of work are over!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Keisha's Fanily Reunion

Me & Keisha (or is it Keisha & me?) took the long drive down to Talking Rock, GA to attend her family reunion last weekend. After going to the reunion last year, I tried to talk her out of it. I really didn't want to see none of them again so soon. Keisha didn't really want to go either- she got a big show coming up in a couple of weeks and she said that she needed to have a little mirror time to practice her numbers. But, once she realized that there was a mirror on the passenger side sun visor of my pickup, she said that we should attend. We took the long drive down to south GA, with Keisha lip-singing the whole way to the most rediculous songs I ever heard.

Anyway, below is the pictures from the reunion. I can't remember none of them's names and I really hope that I don't see none of them again in this lifetime. I can't believe that I married into this gene pool. It was like a weird cross between a freak show and a Hee Haw reunion. At least they had a few kegs and some decent food.
Billy Bob

Thought of the Day