We took Grayson to the Children's Museum this weekend and he had a blast! I brought the camera with me, but forgot to bring the memory card, so I didn't get any pictures. You'll have to imagine about 1000 pictures of a kid smiling non-stop! He was able to climb ropes to get into a tree fort... he got to tap dance in a mirror with Sophie... he went fishing in a pond (wearing a fireman's raincoat)... and he got to ride on a John Deere tractor!
I try my best to fill every weekend with memories that I hope he will never forget. I know he's young; probably too young to remember any of this. Maybe I'm preserving these memories for myself.
We dropped him off at his mother's house today. As usual, I broke down when it was time to take him home. I gave him a bath and dressed him-- tears flowing the entire time. I try not to get emotional like that in front of him, but sometimes I can't help it. After he was dressed and ready to go, I took him to my bed and we read an Elmo book. He is so smart- he turns the pages of the book for me until I get to the end. So, I'm reading and tearing up and he looks at me and says "I love you". That little guy knows how to worm his way into my heart.
I know that I am silly. I know that I'll see him in a few days and there is nothing to worry about. I just imagine everytime that the weekend is over: "what if this is the last one?". His mother could decide at any minute that she no longer wants to "share" custody with us. DFACS is all over her, too. They could take him away in a heartbeat and place him with new parents. As long as he is in my house, I feel safe. Dropping him off at his mother's house worries me to death.
I wish I could press the fast forward button and get to the time when he is with us permanently.