Daily thoughts by a guy that doesn't like to think deeply too often!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Twilight Zone...

I had an appointment this morning with a lady that I'll call "Lisa". Lisa wanted to talk to me about partnering her "company" with the Biscuit for some promotional events. It sounded interesting, so I made an appointment to meet with her and see what see had in mind.

It turns out that Lisa a kook! A major kook! She doesn't have a company. She doesn't even have a job. She told me that her goal in life is simply to promote her dog, Muffy. Her dream was to have her dog ride around in my car (the Biscuit Mobile) for 8 hours each day during the entire last week of October. She figured that people would notice my car, and also notice her dog and just think about the media buzz that we'd create when people spotted her dog in my car. This could be great for Muffy's career, she said. She also told me that it could be a great promotion for the Biscuit! I don't see how it would help my image to have a dog riding shotgun with me while I'm on a catering run-- there would be dog hair all over my platters-- I told her it wasn't a good idea.
That's when Lisa pulled out the big guns and told me that Muffy is a drug free dog. Wow, she had a dog that doesn't currently do drugs?!?!? I told her that I have 5 drug-free dogs at home.. at least I think they're drug-free. I'm a little suspicious about my oldest dog Betty-- sometimes she gets a glassy-eyed expression on her face, and she stumbles now and then. I figured it was because she's old, but now I'm thinking that she might have a drug problem that needs to be addressed. Who knows what goes on out in the garage, where Betty hangs out all day with the other dogs while I'm at work?
Lisa told me that she also visits the Grady ICU often and she could "slip some stuff in there" for me. I told her I didn't understand what she meant. She said "Oh, ICU stands for intensive care unit". Hmmmmm.. of course I understood that part-- in fact that's about the only part of the conversation that I did understand. She explained what she meant-- she thought it'd be a great idea to put a catering menu in each of the ICU patient's rooms at Grady. That way, if they woke up hungry, a few of the patients could get together and place a catering order. I turned down that offer as well.

For her last ditch effort, Lisa asked "Who do I need to talk to about changing the names of some of your menu items?". I was very curious-- what was wrong with the names of the foods that we offer on our menu? Lisa suggested that we change the name of the "Muffin of the Day" to a "Muffy of the Day", in hopes that it would promote her dog's name. She also suggested that we change the name of the daily breakfast special to "Muffy's Choice". She also suggested that we could draw a cartoon character image of Muffy in a "Thumbs Up" pose to place on the printed menu beside the foods that she liked. She even thought that a "Thumb's Down" image would be appropriate next to the selections that she didn't like. As if we would ever print a menu based around Muffy and Lisa's recommendations, or put a "Thumbs Down" image next to any of our menu items for any reason!!!
Oh well, at least she's thinking and she has lots of ideas. Wacky ideas, but ideas. Maybe I'm wrong and she's right. Maybe it would be a great idea to change the whole concept of the restaurant to focus on Muffy. As if!!!

OK, now that I've finished telling you about the highlight of my day, it's time for me to check out the bettyfordclinic.com website to search for early signs of drug usage-- I've got some serious concerns about Betty!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a wildly funny blog but I do notice that sometimes if I'm out of the house, Cletus seems a little "stoned" when I get home. Do you think that he and Betty have a hot line to Muffy's crack house???

7:17 AM

Blogger epgraves said...

In that case, pay me and drive me around town, an ecentric bald guy with a big nose screaming "EAT MY BISQUITS!" should sale better than anything else.

5:34 PM


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