Daily thoughts by a guy that doesn't like to think deeply too often!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Onset of a Panic Attack!

The fundraiser is in 5 days. I am very unprepared. I haven't confirmed most of the key elements of my presentation. I do have a song picked out, and a couple of "maybe's" when it comes to make-up artist. But the biggest problem is that I don't have a thing to wear. Shopping for clothes has always been an obstacle for me. I don't understand women's clothes. The sizes don't make sense to me, and I get overwhelmed. Throw in the fact that my waist is still the size of Twiggy's and my shoulders are are getting more and more the size of Mario Lopez's-- I'm sure I'd give any professional wardrobe consultant a run for their money. What a challenge!

I went to Marshall's today in hopes of finding the perfect outfit. I found it there last year, and I was hoping that lightening might strike twice. It didn't. I thought for a moment that I was onto something. I saw the perfect pair of high-heeled "hooker boots". I waited for all of the ladies in the shoe department to leave and then I swooped in to grab the boots. It turned out that they were 2 1/2 sizes too big, so I quickly put them back on the shelf and left the shoe department, hopefully undetected by the other shoppers. In hindsight, I should have bought them and stuffed them with socks to make them fit. Oh and by the way, how many women wear a size 11.5? And also by the way~~~ why does my alter-ego always dress like such a slut at these fundraisers? I sometimes regret that I didn't adopt a more conservative persona. There were plenty of floral dresses and appliqued sweatshirts to pick from at Marshall's today. No such luck-- I had to take on the persona of Keisha Lorraine- a big old party girl who's most comfortable in a leather zip-down jumpsuit and thigh-high boots.

So-- today's shopping spree was a bust (speaking of bust, Keisha needs a bra, too). I came home with nothing that I needed. Although, I DID find a nice birthday present for my friend Bruce- he'll be very happy with my gift when I give it to him on his birthday----in October! OK, I got a little distracted and couldn't leave empty handed.

I'm sure everything will work out. It always does. Check my archives from June of the past several years and you'll see that I go through the same angst each year, yet it all turns out ok. Fingers crossed once again!


Blogger epgraves said...

IS there a specialty shop for drag queens in Atlanta? A place where you can easily and without hassle from the general public try on dresses and outfits?

2:20 AM

Blogger epgraves said...

Oh, and speaking of Bruce...... If that's not the oracle to consult in an emergency drag situation, Then I don't know who is!

2:22 AM


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