Karaoke Madness!

A few of us go to Karaoke each week and always have a great time-- but this week was exceptionally good! The crowd is always different. One week it appears to be a black bar, the next week a gay bar, the next week a country/redneck bar. Because it's close to the airport, the clientle fluctuates. Well, last Friday night there must have been a full moon or something, because all of the freaks came out! It was a battle for the spotlight all night long- everyone wanted to be the center of attention, and it made for a fun night. Of course, we were also competing with the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics, shown on a big screen just beside the Karaoke stage.

We'll start with the redneck couple-- Curtis & Susie. Curtis was a big pear shaped man, and Susie was your typical redneck wife. I'll begin by saying that they were very nice and I liked them both. But here was my first impression when they came in the door-- Curtis was wearing overhauls and a trucker cap; Susie was wearing one of those Walmart sweatshirts with a decal sewn on the front. She also had a dollar bill pinned to her sweatshirt-- I don't know why. Curtis thought it was a BYOB party-- he brought his own beer with him to the bar and was surprised when the server told him he couldn't drink it. Curtis turned out to be a great singer, though. He sang several Elton John songs and did an incredible job- he sounded just like Elton! Susie was obviously very proud of him, as she sat in her chair waving a white napkin and a cigarette lighter throughout each of his numbers. It's funny that he could sing so well, because when you talked to him one on one you couldn't understand a word he said, due to the number of missing teeth in his mouth.

Another star of the night was named Nine-- an Asian muscle guy. He wore a sleeveless muscle shirt, sweat pants and a fanny pack. His upper arms were the size of my thighs! He looked good and he knew it. He selected the following songs during the night-- all classics: "Just a Gigalo", Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" and "Strokin' ". He wasn't a great singer, but he was having such a good time that it made you smile.

Here's the perfect recipe for a good party: Susie & Curtis, Nine, a table full of airline mechanics, a couple of angry Playmate lesbians, a busload of businessmen, a couple of nelly black boys, and a kissing bandit perv in the men's room. Mix in a few pitchers & buckets of beer, and a few Jim Jones $2 shooters. Stir and add a huge TV screen showing fireworks. It got wild.

While one of the nelly boys was singing Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life", the Olympic torch was being lighted on the big screen. Nelly sang louder, and Susie was inspired to do a cartwheel on the dance floor for some reason. It wasn't a good cartwheel- she didn't make it all the way over. Not one to be upstaged, Nine also decided to do a cartwheel. When he fell, he made it look like it was on purpose by doing a little floor spinning like a break dancer. A few of the mechanics followed suit by doing a break dance on the floor next to our table.

Next on the stage was the unlikely trio of Nine, Nelly and Curtis. Out of a book full of 4000 songs, they selected "Love Will Keep Us Together" by the Captain & Tenille. Nelly decided to turn it into a striptease as he seductively took his shirt off during the song. The angry Playmate lesbians didn't like this at all and they walked up to the stage and started to throw stuff at the trio-- napkins, coasters, etc-- anything they could find.

During the melee, Curtis lost track of Susie so he came over to try to talk to us. He felt certain that he knew my friend Kitty from somewhere. As we tried to talk to him, he leaned over and stuck his tongue in Kitty's ear. Suddenly, Susie reappered (now with two dollar bills pinned to her shirt) and announced that they needed to leave.

While Kitty was busy drying her ear out, and Rob and I were busy drying our eyes from laughter, I went to the restroom. While there, a nice older guy came up to me as I was standing at the urinal and told me he found me attractive and hugged me. He kissed my cheek and thanked me for letting him hug me (as if I had a choice), then left.

I can hardly wait to go back next Friday-- who knows what kind of crowd there will be! I know for sure that I'm bringing a pad and pen to take notes! I don't think anything can ever top that night, but I guess it's possible!