Daily thoughts by a guy that doesn't like to think deeply too often!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Keisha Lorraine: "The truth hurts, I guess"

There were probably a hundred different ways that Keisha & Billy Bob could've broken the news to little Sofie. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.

But the time was right to let Sofie know that she was adopted. Keisha says that Sofie is always asking her "Will I be as pretty as you when I grow up?". Keisha has been dying to tell her the truth: "You will never look like me, because you aren't my child!", but she wanted to tell her this in a friendly way- nothing too traumatic, but kind of fun. She and Billy Bob discussed it and decided that the best time to tell Sofie would be at her birthday party. Sofie was elated when she saw her kitty, "Mr. Bones" jump out of her cake holding a sign. They forgot that Sofie was too young to read, but Keisha's Aunt Becky stepped up to the plate and broke the news to little Sofie. "You're Adopted, Hon", she said. Sofie didn't understand- she'd never heard the word "adopted" before. Aunt Becky realized this and tried to explain it: "Your Momma didn't want to have no kids- it'd ruin her little figure. She bought you instead!". Well, little Sofie teared up and began wailing uncontrollably. "You better not cry", Aunt Becky warned, "she bought you, and she can sell you too!". At this point, Keisha figured that Aunt Becky probably wasn't the best choice to help break the news. Sofie would've taken it better if it had come from Keisha's mom, Grandma Peaches. Grandma Peaches has such a way with words and she could've broken the news a little gentler. Unfortunately Grandma Peaches is locked up in Reidesville for the next 5-7 years for grand theft auto (she was framed), and they couldn't wait that long.

As little Sofie was going into hysterics and hyperventilating, Billy Bob grabbed the Polaroid and snapped this birthday picture. He was going into hysterics himself at this point. I've never seen him laugh so hard. He really didn't get the fact that his daughter's life had just been ruined and that she would probably have to go through therapy for the rest of her life. Billy Bob's only comment was that he wished he had one of them video camera's so he could film this and send it into America's Funniest Videos. He and Keisha decided to save up some money for a video camera so they can film it when they break the news to Sofie that there's no Santa Claus. If Sophie has the same kind of reaction, they could win the $10,000 prize!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so DEMENTED!!! Still laughing.

5:51 PM

Blogger epgraves said...

Oh, and Keisha has some major issues by the way!

7:48 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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5:42 PM


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