All I want for the 4th...

I swear on my father's grave that this story is 100% true. You can't make this stuff up!!!

After the road race on the 4th of July, I met my family at Shane's Rib Shack for lunch. Afterwards, we decided to go for a walk in Edgewood shopping center. We ended up in Petco so that Joel could buy some treats for his dog, Lucy. For some reason, this visit to the pet store become more like a visit to the zoo. As a family, we toured the entire store, looking at each animal. We saw a cage full of finches and I confessed that I had always wanted a finch. Joel pointed out that they were only $17.99, so it wasn't like I had a dream that was unobtainable. Next we went to the fish department. We were looking at the goldfish and Mom mockingly confessed that she's always wanted a goldfish. Once again, Joel pointed out that they ranged in prices from 12 to 29 cents, and if she really wanted a goldfish he would buy her one. She declined, saying that it was just a lifetime dream, but she couldn't commit to taking care of a goldfish.

Somehow, we ended up in the rodent section. We were watching the ferrets play in their cage when all of a sudden we noticed a woman and her son standing near us. I'm not sure if there are any trailer parks in the Candler Park/ Inman Park/Kirkwood area, but I feel certain that this woman walked to the store from whatever mobile home that she currently dwells in. She was pure white trash- she had the wardrobe and everything: white "wife beater" T-shirt, no bra, tattoos, missing teeth and flip-flop shoes. I didn't get her name, but I'll call her Candy. Candy told us that ferrets "is sweet animals". Having lived with ferrets in the past I agreed with her. Except for the fact that they stink, and that they like to use their sharp nails and teeth on human feet, they are delightful pets. Suddenly, Candy turned to her son and gave an anxious look-- apparently she had spent all the time that she could at this pet store. Maybe she was in a hurry to buy a lotto ticket. Maybe the dollar store was having a two-for-one special. Who knows. Candy told her son "You better hurry up and pick out which rat you want for the Fourth of July!". She told us that she buys him a rat each year for the Fourth. "We done got 3 at home already, but they're all male. We keep trying to find a female so we can mate 'em and sale 'em back to the pet store and make a profit." These people are trying to breed rats to make money? How much could you possibly make by selling baby rats? Next door at Lowe's, they are selling rat poison and mouse traps and every other method of killing the very thing that she hoped to reproduce! Within a few minutes we were all in the checkout line- us with our dog treats, them with their rat-in-a-box. Here's hoping that Candy's dream came true and she was able to finally purchase a female rat to fulfill her dream of getting rich in the rodent industry.