Halloween

I got home from work a little earlier than usual and immediately resumed my spot on the sofa-- a bag of chips in one hand, a remote control in the other. I dozed off sometime between "Judge Judy" and "Divorce Court". I was awakened to the sound of a knock on the front door. Who the heck would be knocking on my door? Who even knew that I would be home at this time of the day? Maybe I dreamed it. I muted the TV and waited for another knock, and it came. I remained on the sofa, in a half-comatose state of mind imagining who could be on the other side of the door. Was there a fire, a gas leak? Why would someone bang on my door over and over? Then it hit me. Today was Halloween. It was a trick-or-treater. My mind began to race-- I didn't prepare for the kids-- what would I give them? They could grab a handful of Dorito's from my bag. A Marlboro? A Bud Light? I remembered the bag of Jolly Rancher suckers that were left over from last year's Halloween fiasco. Or was it from two years ago? I grabbed the sack of suckers from the panty and ran to the door. As I opened the door, I saw the cutest little ballerina walking away from my house with her Mom-- it was the litle girl from across the street that I call Popsicle. As I unloaded the bag of old suckers into her pumpkin bucket she said "I love trick or treating!". I loved her, too. Seeing little Popsicle in her Halloween costume reminded me of all of the times that my parents dressed me up and sent me out with the gang on Halloween. Those were magical memories and I felt sad that Popsicle was the only kid running the streets tonight. Hopefully, she didn't notice that she was alone in her conquest for candy. I'm sure she racked up, being the only child in a neighborhood full of elderly widows and gay men! I vow to be better prepared for Popsicle's visit next Halloween!

Yeah, I Caught One, But.....

Accident Prone

I've never really thought of myself as clumsy, or accident-prone, but it's beginning to be obvious to myself and others. My catering jobs always end with one or two injuries, and it's getting hard to hide. For example, last weekend I catered a wedding. Before the guest had even departed the chapel enroute to the reception hall, I was wearing at least 4 band-aids on my fingers, and a couple of pairs of rubber gloves to hide the band-aids! Those plastic platter domes can be deadly! This morning, at 5am, I was in the prep kitchen slicing bagels... I should've known better. Besides slicing bagels, I sliced a good hunk of flesh out of my hand. It happens every time I get a bagel tray order! A couple of hours later, I was at Gideon's Elementary school, loading up the van after delivering a HUGE order. I took a step backwards and tripped over my handcart. I fell down hard against the pavement, leaving me with a big knot on the head, a sprained wrist and a skinned knee. The kids were nice though-- instead of pointing and laughing, a couple of them even helped me back to my feet and asked if I was ok. The real topper occurred during the boxing up of a lunch order, a couple of hours later. I placed a large cardboard box in the prep kitchen and started putting the individual boxed lunches into it. While I was leaned over, loading the box, Juan pulled a metal tray full of potatoes out of the oven and placed it on the prep table beside me. Don't ask me how it happened- I couldn't recreate it if I tried! I started to stand back up and the left side of my face came in full contact with the hot tray. I ended up with a perfectly rectangular burn mark that reached from my forehead down to my jaw. Maribel and Ana spent the rest of the day putting aloe lotion on my face each hour, and it seems to have helped. Hopefully it won't scab up, or scar. And hopefully I can get through the rest of the week without any more serious injuries!

Glimpses of Halloween's Past

This picture was taken in 1968, I was about to turn 3 and it was my first time to go trick-or-treating. Mom was in the hospital awaiting the birth of my little brother. I assume that Dad was with her, so now I'm wondering who took this picture, and who it was that took me trick-or-treating for the first time? It must've been my grandparents.


Speaking of grandparents, here's a picture of my grandmother (Mommo). She got into Halloween, too! I remember one year that Halloween fell on a Wednesday. We went to our grandparent's house to show them our costumes, and hopefully get a sackfull of candy! Since it was Wednesady night, they had gone to church. Next to the front door, there was a big bowl full of half dollars with a note that read "We're sorry we missed you. Please take one. Happy Halloween!". Believe it or not, all of the kids followed directions and took just one half dollar. These days, that bowl would be empty after the first visitor.


Sometime in the mid 1980's, I decided that I wanted to host a Halloween Party. I held it in my backyard and it was a hit! I converted the garden into a graveyard-- there were headstones, and maniquen (sp?) body parts coming out of the graves! I even had a big iron cauldron with water and dry ice in it- producing an eerie fog-like mist that covered the back yard. There were strobe lights and pumpkins everywhere! My Halloween party became THE Halloween party for the next few years! Friends would travel from as far away as Philadelphia to attend my party. It got bigger and bigger each year, and the decorations got more and more elaborate! This picture was taken at the 1st party, with my friend Cynthia (from Bowling Green, Kentucky).

I had a few more pictures from Halloweens gone by, Blogger is having a scheduled outage at the moment so I can't upload anything. I think I'll go ahead and close out and save this one so I don't have to start over!

...to be continued

Continuation of Previous Post

One of my favorite Halloween memories is taking my nephew, Jaime, to the pumpkin patch! He was about 3 years old at the time and we had a blast. I can't believe that was 14 years ago! Jaime was born on October 21st, so all of his birthday parties have had a Halloween theme. All of the decorations and props that I had used for all of my parties were "loaned" to his parents for his birthday parties. Of course, I've never seen them since.

A few more pics from past Halloweens and I'll call it a night!

One More...

My brother Joel sent me this pic- his 1st Halloween picture. I thought it went pretty well with yesterday's theme, so I stuck here so it'd be in order! How'd he get such a great hand-made clown costume and I got stuck with a store bought bunny rabbit outfit? Didn't they ever hear of hand-me-downs?

That's my Mom behind him in her Jackie Kennedy costume. Oh wait, she wasn't in costume- that was just the style in the 60's!

A Halloween Tale

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER...FASTER...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...on his heels, the terrified man runs.Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.Bumping and clapping toward him.The man screams and reaches for something, anything,but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket and...


(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)


The coffin stops.

Peeping "Brian"

I just love technology!

I spotted a hot guy in the park last weekend, and thanks to my camera phone, I was able to take the following pictures of him without him knowing!


Maybe he knew I was shooting him, because he seemed to be posing for me!

Forks in the Road

"I shall be telling this with a sigh,
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"

Robert Frost

When I got out of college, I took a job as a delivery guy for a friend of the family's dental lab. They made dentures and I delivered them to the dentists all around the Metro Atlanta area. During my slower times, I would retreat to the office and and chat with the owner's wife. She was the Office Manager/ Operations Manager. As time went on, I started answering the phones and helped her schedule the pick ups and deliveries, I'd help her with the billing at the end of each month and I helped her figure out the new computer system that she had installed. I wasn't hired to be her assistant, but that's what I basically became. One day she announced that she was going to retire, and that she wanted me to take her place. I stepped into her shoes easily and found that I was pretty good at multi-tasking! I was still doing the deliveries, and also taking care of all of the billing, payroll and schedules. I was allowed to hire a new driver and I was allowed to remodel my office. Over the next few years, I became more hands on with the lab side of the business too. I eventually even learned how to make dentures! The lab techs would often be running late, so I would jump in and help them wherever I could and I eventually learned the talent of matching tooth shades and sizes, repairing broken dentures, etc. I learned a lot.

About 7 years later, a friend of Joel's offered me a part time job-- just 2-4 hours a week of filing at his travel agency. I took it- it was one night a week and it was nice to do something different. A couple of months later, one of the travel agents walked out and left the office short-staffed. Allen offered me a job as a full time travel agent. He offered to send me through school and computer training. It was a hard decision-- stay where I'm comfortable or take a leap. I took the leap!

I took the job at Midtown Travel and soon moved from a one bedroom apartment in Norcross into a 3 story townhouse in the heart of Midtown. Back in those days, the airlines were giving out free tickets to travel agents like they were candy! I got to travel for the first time in my life! And travel I did! I took at least 2 trips each month- I got to see all of the places that I had only dreamed of: Egypt, Amsterdam, Chicago, London, New York, Jamaica, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, etc. I had a whole new life that I could've never imagined sitting behind a desk in the dental lab.

After a couple of years of jet-setting, a headhunter for an international travel agency came to me and offered me a job! I debated on staying where I was, or jumping. I had done so well with my last jump, that I decided to give it another go! I went to work for Rosenbluth International and within a year I was promoted to the head of the training department. This lead to a job teaching orientation to our new hires in the Philadelphia headquarters. I made a few connections there and the next thing I knew, I was traveling around Europe for a couple of years- teaching a new computer system to all of our offices there. I spent weeks in Stockholm, Frankfurt, Switzerland, France, Spain and Italy. I stayed in the nicest hotels, I ate at the nicest restaurants. I lived out of a suitcase and on an expense account Monday through Friday- I returned home every weekend. I was allowed to fly First or Business class for all international flights. And the best part was that I was still an hourly employee! I got paid from the minute I left my house (enroute to the airport) til the minute I returned home. I always had good dreams at the end of the week, knowing that I was now into overtime and I was earning time and half while I slept on a plane.

The days of wine and roses ended with 9/11. People stopped traveling and Rosenbluth's Atlanta office closed. I was offered jobs in other cities, but declined. The most attractive offer came from Fargo, ND. But who wants to live in Fargo? I declined all out of state offers and opted to take a job with Carlson Wagonlit in Buckhead. The new title was "Operations Coordinator" and the pay was about half what I was making at Rosenbluth. I took the job and was happy to see lots of familiar faces from my previous travel agency gigs. It wasn't a bad job, but it was a hostile environment. Lay offs and firings were a weekly occurance. People even hoarded empty cardboard boxes and kep them under their desks, just in case they were asked to leave and had to quickly pack their belongings before being escorted out the door (usually by security). One time I was going to the breakroom and I asked my co-worker if I could get her anything. She asked for a Diet Coke. I was gone less than 5 minutes, and when I came back to her desk it was empty. She and about 20 others were laid off and escorted out that quickly. I was on pins and needles for over a year- then it was announced that Carlson was closing the Atlanta office. It wasn't a good time to be a travel agent in Atlanta.

The next job I got was at Enhancement Services Center in Alpharetta, as a QC Manager. Every time I changed jobs, I added another 30 minutes to my commute, and my salary went down considerably. The job at ESC paid about 1/4 of what I earned at Rosenbluth. I hated my job at ESC- I won't go into the reasons. I worked nights, weekends and holidays. I put 120 miles on my car every day that I worked. Just before my 1 year anniversary at ESC, a friend at the Flying Biscuit Cafe called me and offered me a job as their Operations Manager. I had never worked in a restaurant before- especially a funky little diner in trendy Little 5 Points. If you aren't familiar with L5P- it's basically a spot where the "freaks" congregate- everywhere you see spiked hair, mohawks, full-body tattoos and multiple piercings on every passerby. The average age of employees at the Biscuit was something like 20 years old. I was pushing 40. I was pretty much a preppy guy who was used to working in khakies, a button down shirt and a tie. How would I ever fit in in this environment? I took the job at the Biscuit- mostly becase I hated my ESC job so much. Thank God I did! It's turned out to be the most educational position I could dream of. I was hired to do payroll and bookkeeping, but my job has evolved into so much more. Now I'm in charge of all of the advertising, all of the marketing and retail products that we sale. I'm in charge of publicity and I get to shadow camera crews, celebrities and photographers. I'm in charge of the Catering department and I work with a lot of talented and bright kids that keep me young. I get to wear jeans and a T-shirt to work everyday, set my own hours, and I love my new tattoos! The Biscuit was recently purchased by Raving Brands and they are starting to sell franchises across the USA. I feel like I'm in on the ground floor of something big.

Forks in the road happen for all of us-- sometimes we take the road less traveled, sometimes we stay with what feels comfortable. Sometimes we make the right decisions; sometimes we pass by on opportunities that we can't visualize or comprehend. Sometimes we have no other choice than to move in a different direction and hope for the best.

I wonder what the future would've held for me if Joel never met Allen, if Allen never offered me the part time filing job, or if I had turned it down. What would my life be like now? I might've been a Dental Technician, maybe even a Dentist, who knows? It amazes me how much a split second decision, a chance meeting, changed my life- took me to places I had never imagined being. But those decisons, right or wrong, are what got me here- I think I did OK.

And the Beat Goes On...

How cool-- I just found a picture of Sonny Bono's grave marker, on Cher's MySpace page! What a great headstone-- complete with his autograph!

Ode to My Mom!

This picture was taken during one of Lady's classes. She has a 30' leash on- Mom can tell Lady to sit and stay while she walks 30 feet away. When Mom gets to the end of the leash, she waits a minute or two. Lady stays in place until Mom finally calls for her. It's amazing how much progress Lady had made in a few months!

Mom is making progress too! She's completely recovered from her surgery and even lost a couple of dozen pounds in the process of recovery! She's enjoying her new figure and wearing jeans now, for the first time in her life! I think she looks great, and I'm so happy for her!

Hippo Eats Dwarf!

The Gray Bar Motel

My roommate was arrested again on Saturday night. I don't have many details. As far as I know he is still in jail. I received two messages from Saturday night. The first one said that he was arrested for smoking at the MARTA station. The second message said something about "failure to appear", and extridition from DeKalb County to East Point for a trial. He was arrested in East Point last month for loitering. Maybe he had a court date pending after his release and didn't show? I assume that he's still in the DeKalb County detention center, but I haven't been able to get through to a live person on the phone there that can give me any info. I'll try again tomorrow.

Guess Who Got the Looks in the Family?

Jim, my younger brother, was in town this weekend to attend his 20th year highschool reunion. It's so hard to conceive that he graduated that long ago. We're getting so old!

Rosenbluth and Rosebud

Working the booth at Candler Park's Fallfest wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be. I've dreaded this weekend for the past several months, but it turned out to be fun. I got to see a lot of our regular customers and talk to them for a change. I ran into a couple of former co-workers.. one of them was Leslie (pictured here). I worked with her at Rosenbluth International, side by side for 5 years. When the office closed on 9/15/01, I lost touch with Leslie. But she was at the festival yesterday with her husband, daughter and 9 year old grandson (I remember when he was born!). It's funny how often I run into former friends from Rosenbluth. We were such a tight bunch back then; it's amazing how we've all lost touch with each other, but still pop into each other's lives unexpectantly from time to time.

I also saw another coworker today from my Carlson Wagonlit days, Debir. We weren't the best of friends back then, but we did get along and liked each other. She told me that she's still in touch with our mutual friend Amy and that Amy gave birth to twins last week! She wasn't even dating the last time I saw her! Cool, now I gotta try to find Amy so I can congratulate her!

I can't tell you how many kids stopped by the booth this weekend to say hi to "Mr. Brian". I give tours of the Biscuit to all of the kindergarten kids at Mary Lin Elementary School every year. I show them around the restaurant and take them to the prep kitchen where we mix up a batch of dough for them and they get to cut their own biscuits. Then we bake them off and they get to take them home with them. I've just completed my 3rd year of tours, so I've worked with about 300 kids over the years, and they usually remember me and call me by name when they see me. It's a cool feeling- I've become a semi-icon in their little minds! Kind of like when I was a kid, we used to take fields trips to Mathis Dairy and we got to milk Rosebud. If you were ever a kid in DeKalb County public schools in the 70's, you probably milked Rosebud and you never forgot it. I've become the new Rosebud, at least in Candler Park!

Overall it was a tiring, but enjoyable weekend. I'm glad the we participated and I learned a lot about how to run a festival booth. I didn't double yesterday's sales as I had hoped, but I did top them. At least that's a little progress! It was great to see so many old and new friends- I even saw Beverly there- she stopped by the festival after church. Yes, I was shocked too-- Beverly attended church today! I can't wait to hear the story behind that one. I'm sure she'll fill us all in on her Blog tomorrow

Ever Get That Feeling?

A la Casa de me Amigo!

When I pulled into my driveway tonight, I noticed that the neighbor's house was lighted up more than usual. I went into my backyard to feed the pups and glanced over at the well-lighted house. I noticed that their backyard was equally illuminated. I also noticed the multi-colored streamers that were attached to the house and flowed freely up into the branches of the tall oak tree. It hit me-- this is the night of the Fiesta! It occurs once a year for the past 7 years. I don't know what the occassion is- sometimes it takes place on weeknights, sometimes on weekends, but always on October 14th. It's always a big outdoor party, hosted by my neighbor in his backyard.

The mariachi band started at 8pm. The salsa band started at 9pm. It's now 10pm and the trumpets and bugles are blaring. And the crowd is singing along at the top of their lungs. Kids are running in the streets. I'm sure there is a pinata hanging from the oak tree, and possibly a pig being roasted in a nearby pit. If I remember correctly, this fiesta goes on till the wee hours of the morning-- it'll be 3 or 4 am before the trumpets are silent. The bands usually stop around 2am and I get a little relief. Soon after, the fireworks start. Followed by shotguns. They shoot towards the moon as if they could actually hit it. There is no chance that they could ever hit the moon with a shotgun shell, but they have a grand time giving it a try. I think they pass the shotgun around and everyone gets a shot at the moon.

Imagine trying to sleep nearby to the sounds of trumpets, bugles, singing, fireworks and gun fire. I've witnessed this party for years- I've never complained, but how I want to. It usually happens on nights that I plan on going to bed early- always on the eve of a big day for me. I worked 12 hours today, and I'll work 12 hours tomorrow. Will I get any sleep tonight? Probably very little.

Reflections on Fallfest, 2006

The Candler Park Fallfest kicked off today and what an amazing event it is. I worked my booth all day and didn't ever get a chance to leave the "food court", but luckily our booth was set up with a great view of the main stage. Each hour a new artists, or group of artists, performed. The music was incredible! They also had a dog show (called "The Canine Cotillion"). I expected it to be upscale, like the rest of the festival, but the only categories I saw were the tail wagging contest and the dogspeak category. In the tail wag competition, dogs were brought up to the judges and whichever dog wagged their tail the most won the prize. In the dogspeak, the dogs were all brought together and told to "speak". It was cute, the dogs were howling and barking for about 5 minutes before a winner was named. Within 15 minutes, the dog show was over.



Luckily, I was assigned the booth next to the Corner Tavern's booth. We were cooking chicken sausage links on a butane burner-- they had a full kitchen set up and they sold everything from fried shrimp baskets to cheeseburgers and fries. They had a line a mile long the entire time. We got a lot of their overflow- those that didn't want to wait in line came to our booth. Both booths did pretty well over all.



I'll be working the booth again all day tomorrow. I'm adding a few items that I noticed that no one else was selling today-- water, soft drinks, coffee, sausage biscuits. We were told that we weren't allowed to sale drinks because there was one vendor that was selling drinks. I don't know where that vendor was, because no one had any drinks until the beer tent opened. I think the sausage biscuits will be a hit too... especially for the early crowd looking for breakfast food. I sold over $500 in hotdogs today- I want to double that tomorrow! Keep your fingers crossed for me!



To anyone considering going to the CP Fallfest, I highly recommend it! There are about 130 booths- great art, knick-knacks at cheap prices, etc. And if you're in the market for a sausage biscuit or a cup of coffee, you know where to go!

Oh, Mama (Funny)

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Thanksgiving Update

It's confirmed~~ Thanksgiving will be a fiasco! My brother Jim is bringing his latest girlfriend Colleen... Jim's ex-wife Angie is bringing her new boy toy Tim. Angie's Mom, Debbie, is bringing her boyfriend Dennie. I feel like bringing a one-legged Polish drag queen as my date, just to top them all!



What is this, a friggin prom? Why is everyone bringing dates to a family Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas tree decorating party?

Brothers and Best Friends

Here's a picture I took yesterday of King with his brother, Cletus. They developed a special bond from the moment they were born. Now they are both big boys, and they only see each other every once in a while, but the bond is still there.

The King & I

We had a big day today-- it started off with the "Blessing of the Animals" at my church. King was so out of his element! Most of the other dogs behaved- but King was ready to play. He gets very vocal when he wants to play- he barks. I'm sure everyone thought that I'd brought a rabid attack dog to the service, but I knew he was only trying to communicate with the other dogs. By the end of the service, King began to settle down. When it was our turn to be blessed by Father Jim, King sat and extended his paw for a handshake. Father Jim held King's paw as he blessed him. He said "May the Lord bless you and keep you, Make his face shine down on you, and make you the greatest dog in the world, and Brian's best friend." I got goosebumps. While the other dogs were being blessed, we sang hymns. Not really hymns, but those kind of songs that we all used to sing in Vacation Bible School-- songs like "This Little Light of Mine", etc. King started barking and howling. The other dogs joined in and we had a canine choir going. They didn't know the words, but they were happy to sing along!

Today was the Destination East Point Festival. I took King with me for the festivities. He was pretty scared of the crowd- this was a whole new experience for him. We were immediatly approached by a gang from the local Baptist Church. They had a booth and a preacher that would bless pets for free. I declined and told them that we were good- King was just blessed this morning (and he's not Baptist).

King and I were entered in the American Idol Dog Show at the Destination East Point Festival. As you can see in the pictures, King and I were dressed up in our matching Bumblee Bee outfits (thanks, Kitty for doing the last minute alterations!) . We took 1st place in the Dog/Owner Look-Alike portion of the show! Poor King- he was a champ throughout the entire event. I know it had to be confusing for him to be dressed as a bumblebee in the middle of a festival, but he took it on the chin and wowed the crowd!

Way to go, King!

Back when I was your age....

Hop on, little girl! Quack, Quack!

Another One of Dad's Great Ideas!

It was the Summer of 1974 and I was 8 years old. Dad decided that we should have a"family movie night". He'd probably read some article about spending quality time with your kids, and realized it was time to make his first attempt at it. Taking the family out to a movie seemed perfect- he didn't really have to interact with any of us- all he had to do was pay for it, and then spend 2 hours sitting beside his family in silence as they enjoyed a film together. Maybe it could be a bonding experience- we'd all have seen a movie and could discuss it later.

At the time, family films were really being cranked out - Cinderella, The Love Bug,
The Shaggy D.A., Mary Poppins, etc. There was even a Don Knott's movie called the Apple Dumpling Gang that was filmed in Atlanta, with several of my cousins appearing in the background scenes. Nowadays it's hard to find a good G rated film to take the kids to, but back then there was a virtual cornucopia to pick from! But what film did Dad pick for this family bonding experience? He picked "The Terminal Man".

I've never met anyone else in my life that has ever heard of this film. I'd like to get a copy of it someday and see it again- just to see if it's as scarey as I remember. The basic plot is that a brilliant scientist somehow has a serious brain trauma and the cure was to implant a micro-computer in his brain. The experiment works- he no longer has the spasms that he was having. There was one side effect though-- the micro chip caused him to violently kill someone every hour. My family sat in horror as we watched him kill at least 20 people over the next two hours. Some he strangled, some he hanged. He even stabbed a woman (Karen Black) to death on a waterbed- slashing the mattress in the process. The camera focused on the river of bloody water that flowed from the bed, onto the floor and down the hallway.

We ranged in ages from 5-11. We had never seen anything so violent in our lives and I think it scarred us all. Later that night, my brother Jim got in bed with me. He was too scared to sleep alone. A few minutes later, Jim and I went to Joel's room and got in bed with him. I remember crying because Karen Black had died and I really liked her at the time. Before the night was over, we were all in our parents bed. I don't think any of us slept that night- afraid that the Terminal Man might enter the room at any moment.

Dad wanted a bonding event and he got one- none of us were able to sleep in our own beds for over a week. The 5 of us slept together in a double bed for the following week, spending more quality time together than Dad ever dreamed of!

This Weekend Has Gone to the DAWGS!

Saturday will be a BIG day in King's life. There are two big events that he is taking place in this weekend. The first event begins at 11:00am at my church: "The Blessing of the Animals" ceremony! It's like a Baptism ceremony for animals. If I can pull it off, I'll try to take at least 3 of my dogs to the service- they all need blessings in their own personal ways.

Later that same day, King will participate in the Destination East Point's 2nd Annual Dog Show. He's currently entered in the "Stupid Pet Tricks Category" and in the "Dog/Owner Look-a-Like" contest. Kitty is probably sitting in front of her sewing machine as I type this, putting the finishing touches on King's costume. We'll both be dressed in matching outfits. I can't tell what the costumes are, in fear that the "competition" might read this and copy my idea. I'll post pictures here after the event so that you can all see us in our glory, as we accept the first prize trophy!


In the meantime, below are some baby pictures of King, Cletus & Lady, along with Clara and Shelby:

Book Reports for Adults

Here's a challenge for you all!

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences in the comments section below.

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.


OK, here's what I found in Augusten Burrough's "Possible Side Effects":


"But when I turned thirty, something was indeed left behind. Suddenly, inexplicably, a piece of me went missing. The very piece responsible for breaking up with a guy if he turned out to be a freak. Literally overnight, I went from somebody who was a pretty good judge of character- somebody who was able to go on a date or two, and if I didn't feel the chemistry, kindly back out- to being a sucker, unable to think and act for myself."

Childhood Dreams

We Put the "Fun" in DysFUNctional!

Thanksgiving is a little over a month away- I'm dreading it already. Or maybe I'm looking forward to it. I'm not sure which yet. I know that I'll have interesting stories to tell afterwards! Here's the scoop!


My brother, Jim, is coming to Atlanta for Thanksgiving. He'll be bringing the kids with him, and his new girlfriend, Colleen. I guess I should stay open-minded. I might really like this girl, but all I know of her is this pictures that Jim sent to me tonight. She looks a little scarey! But, she's got to be better than his last partner, Melanie (or was it Melody? I can't remember). Mel was a lazy, free-loading chick. She had three children (two of which were removed from her custody). She lived with her Mom, and collected welfare checks for a living. I've never seen the girl sober. Pure white trash in my opinion. But he loved her, despite all of the red flags. My prayers were answered when Jim told me that he was no longer dating Mel, he had "hooked up" with a 40 year old woman on a recent business trip to Florida. The lovely Colleen.


Following Jim, Colleen and the kids on the route from Memphis to Atlanta will be Jim's ex-wife, Angie. I don't really know why Angie is coming. I love her and still think of her as family, but come on- the divorce is final. Celebrate the holidays with your own family. I guess she had that thought too, because she is bringing her mother, Debbie, and her ex-con brother, Charlie, with her. She's also bringing her latest boyfriend. And when I say BOYfriend, I mean a boy! He's in his 20's- still lives at home with his parents. He's never had a job or much of an education. But she loves him and can't imagine spending a holiday without him. I'm sure that he's thrilled to travel all the way to Atlanta to have a free turkey dinner at his sugar momma's ex-mother-in-laws condo, along with her ex-husband and his new girl. If history teaches us anything, Debbie will also have a date with her- she always does.


It should be very interesting, and I'll be sure to take lots of notes and pictures so that I can relate the fiasco of Thanksgiving here on the Blog. I'm getting a migraine just thinking about it!

True Scum

I was in the men's department at Target today, and while thumbing through the clearance rack, I saw a nice looking, 20-something year old guy at the next rack. He was dressed in typical Little 5 Points attire- faded jeans, vintage T-shirt, etc. But there was something strange about him. Although he was thumbing through the clothes, he didn't appear to be looking at them, but off into the distance somewhere. Then I saw him bring his hand to his mouth and talk into it. I figured it out- he was store security and he was watching a lady in the shoe department. I was intrigued, so I watched the lady for a minute myself. She had two little girls with her, about 5 or 6 years old, and they were both wearing backpacks. I watched as the Mom handed a pair of shoes to one of the girls, who immediately put them in the other girl's backpack and zipped it back up. The security guy and I followed this woman throughout the store and witnessed her and her kids as they filled the backpacks up with as much loot as they would hold. They had the bags full of clothes, shoes, videos, CD's, games, toys, candy and Halloween costumes. I don't know how these little girls were able to walk with the weight of their stolen goods on their backs, but they seemed to be fine as they skipped out the door. However, just outside the doorway was the cutie-pie security officer and a policeman. Cutie whipped out his badge and told the woman they needed to talk to her. They took the backpacks off of the children and escorted the three of them into a private room. I was sorry that I wasn't able to go into the private room with them, since I felt that I was part of the "sting", but I'm sure they were capable of handling the situation without me.

This woman is obviously the worst example of a parent that I can imagine. Did she think for a second of the lesson that she's teaching these young girls? I guess the lesson is, if you see something you want and you can't afford it you can just take it. It's free! Today she taught her kids to steal. A few years from now, these girls will be breaking into houses, robbing banks and committing all kinds of crimes. They will grow up thinking that the police are the enemy. They will have no respect for laws, because Mom taught them at an early age that laws don't apply to them. I hope they threw the book at that scumbag!

I shoplifted once in my life. I was about 5 years old and Mom and I had stopped at the "Stop 'n Go" for something. When no one was looking, I slipped a pack of baseball cards in my pocket. On the way home in the car, I pulled out the pack and opened it to get the stick of gum out. Mom noticed it and turned the car around. We went back to the "Stop 'n Go" and I had to go inside and tell the store owner what I had done, return the cards and apologize. It was very embarssing and very humbling. I learned a lesson that day and never did it again. Imagine the lesson I would've learned if I had gotten away with it that day?

Judge Judy wrote a book a few years ago entitled "Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining". In it she tells of the time that one of her children shoplifted something minor, like a pack of baseball cards. She took the kid back into the store and told the owner "If you ever see this kid in your store again, have him arrested!". A little over the top, but she got her point across!